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(This
is the story, of course, of that incredible bread
machine, capitalism)
Tom
Smith and His Incredible Bread Machine
Part
I
This is the legend of a man whose name
Was a household word: a man whose fame
Burst on the world like an atom bomb.
Smith was his last name; first name: Tom.
The argument goes on today.
"He was a villain," some will say.
"No! A hero!" others declare.
Or was he both? Well, I despair;
The fight will last 'til kingdom come;
Was Smith a hero? Or was Smith a bum?
So, listen to the story and it's up to you
To decide for yourself as to which is true!
Now, Smith, an inventor, had specialized
In toys. So people were surprised
When they found that he instead
Of making toys, was baking bread!
The news was flashed by CBS
Of his incredible success.
Then NBC jumped in in force,
Followed by the Times, of course.
The reason for their rapt attention,
The nature of his new invention,
The way to make bread he'd
conceived
Cost less than people could believe!
And not just make it! This device
Could in addition wrap and slice!
The price per loaf, one loaf or many:
The miniscule sum of under one penny!
Can you imagine what
this meant?
Can you comprehend the
consequent?
The first time yet the
world well fed!
And all because of Tom
Smith's bread!
Not the last to see the
repercussions
Were the Red Chinese,
and, of course, the Russians,
For Capitalist
bread in such array
Threw the whole red
block into black dismay!
Nonetheless,
the world soon found
That bread was
plentiful the world around.
Thanks to Smith and all
that bread,
A grateful world was at
last well fed!
But isn't it a wondrous
thing
How quickly fame is
flown?
Smith, the hero of
today
Tomorrow, scarcely
known!
Yes, the fickle years
passed by.
Smith was a
billionaire.
But Smith himself was
now forgot,
Though bread was
everywhere.
People, asked from
where it came,
Would very seldom know.
They would simply eat
and ask,
'Was not it always so?"
However, Smith cared
not a bit,
For millions ate his
bread,
And "Everything is
fine," thought he.
"I'm rich and they are
fed!"
Everything was fine, he
thought?
He reckoned not with
fate.
Note the sequence of
events
Starting on the date
On which inflation took
its toll,
And to a slight extent,
The price on every loaf
increased:
It went to one full
cent!
A sharp reaction
quickly came.
People were concerned.
White House aide
expressed dismay.
Then the nation learned
That Russia lodged a
sharp protest.
India did the same.
"Exploitation of the
Poor!"
Yet, who was there to
blame?
And though the clamor
ebbed and flowed,
All that Tom would say
Was that it was but
foolish talk.
Which soon would die
away.
And it appeared that he
was right.
Though on and on it
ran,
The argument went
'round and 'round
But stopped where it
began.
There it stopped, and
people cried,
"For heaven's sake, we
can't decide!
It's relative! Beyond
dispute,
There's no such thing
as 'absolute'!
And though we try with
all our might,
Since nothing's ever
black or white,
All that we can finally
say is
'Everything one shade
of grey is'!"
So people cried out,
"Give us light!
We can't tell what's
wrong from right!"
To comprehend
confusion,
We seek wisdom at its
source.
To whom, then did the
people turn?
The Intellectuals, of
course!
And what could be a
better time
For them to take the
lead,
Than at their
International Conference
On Inhumanity and
Greed.
For at this weighty
conference,
Once each year we face
The moral conscience of
the world—
Concentrated in one
place.
At that mighty
conference were
A thousand, more or
less,
Of intellectuals and
bureaucrats,
And those who write the
press.
And from Yale and
Harvard
The professors; all
aware
The fate of Smith would
now be known.
Excitement filled the
air!
"The time has come,"
the chairman said
"To speak of many
things:
Of duty, bread and
selfishness,
And the evil that it
brings.
For, speaking thus we
can amend
That irony of fate
That gives to
unenlightened minds
The power to create.
"Since reason tells us
that it can't,
Therefore let us start
Not by thinking with
the mind,
But only with the
heart!
Since we believe in
people, then,"
At last the chairman
said,
'We must meet our
obligation
To see that they are
fed!"
And so it went, one by
one,
Denouncing private
greed;
Denouncing those who'd
profit thus
From other people's
need!
Then, suddenly each
breath was held,
For there was none more
wise
Than the nation's
foremost Pundit
Who now rose to
summarize:
"My friends," he said,
(they all exhaled)
'We see in these events
The flouting of the
Higher Law—
And its consequence.
We must again remind
ourselves
Just why mankind is
cursed:
Because we fail to
realize
Society comes first!
"Smith placed himself
above the group
To profit from his
brothers.
He failed to see the
Greater Good,
Is Service, friends, to
Others!"
With boldness and with
vision, then,
They ratified the
motion
To dedicate to all
mankind
Smith's bread-and their
devotion!
The conference finally
ended.
It had been a huge
success.
The intellectuals had
spoken.
Now others did the
rest.
The professors joined
in all the fuss,
And one was heard to
lecture thus:
(For clarity, he spoke
in terms
Of Mother Nature, birds
and worms):
"That early birds
should get the worm
Is clearly quite
unfair.
Wouldn't it much nicer
be
If all of them would
share?
But selfishness and
private greed
Seem part of nature's
plan,
Which Mother Nature has
decreed
For bird. But also Man?
The system which I
question now,
As you are well aware,
(I'm sure you've heard
the term before
Is Business,
Laissez-Faire!
"So students, let me
finally say
That we must find a
nobler way.
So, let us fix the race
that all
May finish
side-by-side;
The playing field
forever flat,
The score forever tied.
To achieve this end, of
course,
We turn to
government-and force.
So, if we have to bring
Smith do
As indeed we should,
I'm sure you will agree
with me,
It's for the Greater
Good!"
Comments in the
nation's press
Now scorned Smith and
his plunder:
'What right had he to
get so rich
On other people's
hunger?"
A prize cartoon
depicted Smith
With fat and drooping
jowls
Snatching bread from
hungry babes,
Indifferent to their
howls.
One night, a TV star
cried out,
"Forgive me if I
stumble,
But I don't think, I
kid you not,
That Smith is very
humble!"
Growing bolder, he
leaped up,
(Silencing the cheers)
"Humility!" he cried to
all—
And then collapsed in
tears!
The clamor rises all
about;
Now hear the politician
shout:
'What's Smith done, so
rich to be?
Why should Smith have
more than thee?
So, down with Smith and
all his greed;
I'll
protect your right to need!"
Then Tom found to his
dismay
That certain
businessmen would say,
''The people now should
realize
It's time to cut Smith
down to size,
For he's betrayed his
public trust
(And taken all that
bread from us!)"
Well, since the Public
does come first,
It could not be denied
That in matters such as
this,
The public must decide.
So, SEC became
concerned,
And told the press what
it had learned:
"It's obvious that he's
guilty
—Of what we're not
aware—
Though actually and
factually
We're sure there's
something there!"
And Antitrust now took
a hand.
Of course it was
appalled
At what it found was
going on.
The "bread trust" it
was called.
"Smith has too much
crust,"
they said. "A
deplorable condition
That Robber Barons
profit thus
From cutthroat
competition!"
WELL!
This was getting
serious!
So Smith felt that he
must
Have a friendly
interview
With SEC and 'Trust.
So, hat in hand, he
went to them.
They'd surely been
misled;
No rule of law had he
defied.
But then their lawyer
said:
"The rule of law, in
complex times,
Has proved itself
deficient.
We much prefer the rule
of men.
It's vastly more
efficient.
"So, nutshell-wise, the
way it is,
The law is what we
say it is!
"So, let me state the
present rules,"
The lawyer then went
on,
"These very simple
guidelines
You can rely upon:
You're gouging on
your prices
If you charge more than
the rest.
But it's unfair
competition
If you think you can
charge less!
"A second point that we
would make,
To help avoid
confusion:
Don't try to charge the
same amount,
For that would be
collusion!
''You must compete—but
not too much.
For if you do, you see,
Then the market would
be yours—
And that's monopoly!
Oh, don't dare
monopolize!
We'd raise an awful
fuss,
For that's the greatest
crime of all!
(Unless it's done by
us!)"
"I think I understand,"
said Tom.
"And yet, before I go,
How does one get a job
like yours?
I'd really like to
know!"
The lawyer rose then
with a smile;
"I'm glad you asked,"
said he.
"I'll tell you how I
got my start
And how it came to be."
(His secretaries
gathered 'round
As their boss did thus
expound.)
'When I was a lad going
off to school,
I was always guided by
this golden rule:
Let others take the
lead in things, for heaven's sake,
So if things go
wrong-why, then it's their mistake!"
(So if things go
wrong-why, then it's their mistake!)
"Following this precept
it came to pass
I became the president
of my senior class.
Then on to college
where my profs extolled
The very same theory
from the very same mold!"
(The very same theory
from the very same mold!)
"Let others take the
chances, and I would go along.
Then I would let them
know where they all went wrong!
So successful was my
system that then indeed,
I was voted most likely
in my class to succeed!"
(He was voted most
likely in his class to succeed!)
"Then out into the
world I went, along with all the rest,
Where I put my golden
rule to the ultimate test.
I avoided all of
commerce at whatever the cost—
And because I never
ventured, then I also never lost!"
(And because he never
ventured, then he also never lost!)
'With this unblemished
record then, I quickly caught the eye
Of some influential
people 'mongst the powers on high.
And so these many years
among the mighty I have sat,
Having found my niche
as a bureaucrat!"
(Having found his niche
as a bureaucrat')
"To be a merchant
prince has never been my goal,
For I'm qualified to
play a more important role:
Since I've never failed
in business, this of course assures
That I'm qualified
beyond dispute to now run yours!'
(That he's qualified
beyond dispute to now run yours!)
"Thanks; that clears it
up," said Tom.
The lawyer said, "I'm
glad!
We try to serve the
public good.
We're really not so
bad!
"Now, in disposing of
this case,
If you wish to know
just how,
Go up to the seventh
floor;
We're finalizing now!"
So, Tom went to the
conference room
Up on the seventh
floor.
He raised his hand,
about to knock,
He raised it—but no
more—
For what he overheard
within
Kept him outside the
door!
A sentence here, a
sentence there—
Every other word—
He couldn't make it out
(he hoped),
For this is what he
heard:
"Mumble, mumble, let's
not fumble!
Mumble, mumble, what's
the charge?
Grumble, grumble, he's
not humble?
Private greed? Or good
of all?
"Public Interest, Rah!
Rah! Rah!
Business, Business,
Bah! Bah! Bah!
"Say, now this now we
confess
That now this now is a
mess!
Well now, what now do
we guess?
Discharge? Which charge
would be best?
"How 'bout 'Greed and
Selfishness'?
Oh, wouldn't that
be fun?
It's vague enough to
trip him up
No matter what
he's done!
'We don't produce or
build a thing!
But before we're
through,
We allow that now we'll
show Smith how
We handle those who do!
'We serve the public
interest;
We make up our own
laws;
Oh, golly gee, how
selflessly
We serve the public
cause!
"For we're the ones who
make the rules
At 'Trust and SEC,
So bye and bye we'll
get that guy;
Now, what charge will
it be?
"Price too high? Or
price too low?
Now, which charge will
we make?
Well, we're not loath
to charging both
When public good's at
stake!
"But can we go one
better?
How 'bout monopoly?
No muss, no fuss, oh
clever us!
Right-O! Let's charge
all three!
"But why stop here? We
have one more!
Insider Trading!
Number four!
We've not troubled to
define
This crime in any way
so,
This allows the courts
to find
Him guilty 'cause we
say so!"
So, that was the
indictment.
Smith's trial soon
began.
It was a cause
célèbre
Which was followed'
cross the land.
In his defense Tom only
said,
"I'm rich, but all of
you are fed!
Is that bargain so
unjust
That I should now be
punished thus?"
Tom fought it hard all
the way.
But it didn't help him
win.
The jury took but half
an hour
To bring this verdict
in:
"Guilty! Guilty! We
agree!
He's guilty of this
plunder!
He had no right to get
so rich
On other people's
hunger!"
"Five years in jail!"
the judge then said.
"You're lucky it's not
worse!
Robber Barons must be
taught
Society Comes First!
As flies to wanton
boys," he leered,
"Are we to men like
these!
They exploit us for
their sport!
Exploit us as they
please!"
The sentence seemed a
bit severe,
But mercy was extended.
In deference to his
mother's pleas,
One year was suspended.
And what about the
Bread Machine?
Tom Smith's little
friend?
Broken up and sold for
scrap.
Some win. Some lose.
The end.
EPILOGUE
Now, bread is baked by
government.
And as might be
expected,
Everything is well
controlled—
The public well
protected.
True, loaves cost ten
dollars each.
But our leaders do
their best.
The selling price is
half a cent.
Taxes pay the rest!
end of part I
In Part II, not
included here, the narrator debates the issues of
capitalism with his excitable friend, Jack. As Jack
sees it, the status quo is pretty much OK:
"If one needs what
others earn,
No longer need one
steal it!
Government now does the
job,
And people hardly feel
it!"
But in the end, Jack is
mugged by reality.
Parts I & II from R. W.
Grant's Tom Smith and His Incredible Bread Machine
(Manhattan Beach, Calif.: Quandary House, 1978).
I strongly recommend The
Incredible Bread Machine A Study of Capitalism,
Freedom, and the State Second Edition by R.W. Grant
Revised and Expanded, published by Fox & Wilkes.
Amazon.com
Amazon.com
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